7 tips for managing your mental health during the holidays

The holidays can be a time for joy and connecting with friends and loved ones, but they can also bring stress, anxiety and depression. Here you can find practical advice for navigating the season’s emotional challenges and specific tips for taking care of your mental health.

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1. Manage holiday expectations

The most common advice is to learn how to manage your expectations. Often, what we experience is a disconnect between our actual situation and our perceptions of how it should be. This disconnect can be particularly pronounced during the holidays. For example, someone who grew up in a large family might feel a sense of loss when faced with a small gathering. You may find yourself mentally comparing the two experiences without even realising it. Instead, try to focus on what you are grateful for in the present moment.

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2. Let go of the fantasy

We can all dream of a perfect holiday where everyone enjoys themselves, but the reality is that family gatherings often come with tensions. It’s important to acknowledge that holidays may not live up to our idealized vision. Set realistic expectations by understanding that certain family members may consistently be challenging. While you cannot control how others behave, you can adjust your own expectations and reactions, which can be empowering.

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3. Check in with yourself

One effective way to manage your reactions is to regularly check in with yourself. This practice helps you monitor your emotional state and assess how you are feeling. You can think of it as a scale for measuring stress, anxiety, or mood, where you rank your feelings from one to ten. When you identify that you are at a certain level—whatever that may be for you—it's important to take a break. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing, such as listening to music, exercising, practicing deep breathing (see tip #5), or pursuing any hobby that brings you joy. The goal is to cultivate self-awareness, allowing you to engage in self-care before reaching an emotional breaking or boiling point.

4. Have a plan

In addition to regular self-monitoring, create a specific plan for what you will do if you start to feel stressed, sad, or anxious during the holidays. This plan might include activities like calling a friend, going for a walk, listening to music, reading, or watching your favorite TV show. Remember, the activity you choose should be personal to you. The goal of these actions is to promote wellness. It’s important to be proactive and engage in self-care rather than ignoring or suppressing your emotions, which usually only works for a limited time.

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5. Breathe

 Use a technique called diaphragmatic breathing to relieve stress and anxiety. It is also known as deep breathing or belly breathing. “You can do deep breathing anywhere, and it doesn’t cost anything, Notes that people often “go, go, go” during the holidays and will try to power through whatever they need to do. “But then it leaves them exhausted,

Deep breathing, holding oxygen in your lungs, allows better oxygen exchange. Your blood oxygen goes up. And as soon as that happens, you start to relax.” You can learn deep breathing from free online instructions and videos.

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6. Share the happy memories

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During the holidays, many people experience stress, but they may also feel grief as they remember loved ones who have passed away. It's important not to completely suppress those feelings, as doing so is not helpful. One effective strategy for coping with grief during this time is called reminiscence therapy. This approach encourages individuals to acknowledge their loss and feelings of grief without dwelling on the sad memories. Instead, the focus should be on celebrating the happy moments shared with the person. Sharing stories and reminiscing about joyful times can provide comfort and honor their memory.

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7. Connect with community

“Loneliness can have negative effects on health, and the holidays can make feelings of loneliness even stronger, especially for those who no longer have family or who live far away from friends and relatives. For individuals without a network of friends or a support group, it's important to seek one out. There are many ways to find community, including through churches, clubs, meetups, volunteering, cultural centers, LGBTQ centers, and more. “Finding community can be challenging these days, but it is crucial. Engaging with others allows you to interact, communicate, and feel good about your activities, which is beneficial for your well-being.”